The Truth Comes Out…

I’m sure all of you have friends who may have strong opinions but don’t openly share them unless the topic is discussed or if you ask them for their honest opinion. Well, I certainly do. 

Two of my closest friends who I’ve known since grade school told me a few things recently that I’d like to jot down for my own memory’s sake since my memory is horrible. 

"Dude, over the past few weeks that we’ve hung out, you’ve become such an introvert. You and I used to be the ones rallying everyone up and getting everyone excited, and now, every time I see you, you’re either on your phone or you’re off to the side having a deep conversation with someone. She’s changed you man…" 

"You’re meant to be a leader.. in the business world. I know you care about education, but I can see you doing so much more with business. She’s the one who has made you become someone who wants to stay away from business. I always thought she held you back…. "

To M

I can see the pain in your eyes. At age 32, you have the house, the car, and the 100k+ salary you’ve wanted to compensate for the tough times growing up, but when you talk to me, all I see is emptiness. I can tell something’s missing. I can tell you’re discontent and restless. I can also tell that you are strong. You have persevered, but you have filled the gaps of your insecurities with the things money can buy. When I asked you today, “What’s the point of having everything when you don’t have anyone to share it with,” I hope that will spark some internal dialogue. I hope you will start investing your time and energy into others as much as you have done for yourself up to this point in your life. I know you are proud of your accomplishments. I see that grin when you tell me how much money you make. I know money matters to you, and it should. It makes sense, but don’t let it be the only thing that makes this life worth living. You have come a long way, my friend. I hope you find that fulfilling job to propel your career. I hope you find that meaningful connection. And most importantly, I hope you find happiness. There’s nothing I want more than to see the sun shining in your eyes. 

Connections

I hold the many connections I’ve made in life very dear and close to my heart. And I will fight to keep the connections that matter to me. 

Why? Because you can meet thousands of people in your lifetime, but how many of them actually becomes a connection? And I’m not talking about just any kind of surface level connection. I’m talking about the raw, let’s connect with each other’s souls kind of connection. I’m talking about depth as deep as the ocean. 

For some people, they define success by the clothes on their back, the size of the house above their head, the cash in their bank accounts, or the amount of steps they took up their career ladder. Sure, these things do matter, but for me, success means how many lives I can touch and make a difference for. Nothing brings more joy to my heart than to know I’ve added value to someone’s life in a way that helped them become the person they are today. 

Despite how strongly I feel about my connections, you should never fight for someone who already has made the decision to walk out of your life. You should never force someone to stay when they don’t want to. I had to learn this the hard way. Despite it all, the optimist in me still believes in the strength of our connection, and I know that this is not the end of the road. I know that our paths will cross again in the future. The corgi in me will always care about and want the best for the bulldog in you, even if it’s from afar. 

Connections are a gift. They are the little and big blessings that add meaning and value to my life. And once a connection is made, it’s not going away. But connections that are established in that shared moment do change with time, and not every connection is meant to stay in your life once it’s served its purpose. And sometimes you have to let these go. Just be grateful for the ones who decide to stay. 

As you leave Stanford, take your genius and your optimism and your empathy and go change the world in ways that will make millions of others optimistic as well.

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You don’t have to rush. You have careers to launch, debts to pay, spouses to meet and marry. That’s enough for now.

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But in the course of your lives, perhaps without any plan on your part, you’ll come to see suffering that will break your heart.

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When it happens, and it will, don’t turn away from it; turn toward it. That is the moment when change is born.

-  Bill & Melinda Gates Stanford Commencement Speech ‘14

Recently, I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, and we spent a good deal of time talking about our 5 year plan and career ambitions. I went through all the options I’m considering, and that’s when she stops me and asks, “Wendy, if there are no factors holding you back, what would you want to be doing now?” 

She said there was this force pulling me back, which was something she was surprised she saw in me. That made me really think hard. And you know what, she’s right. There are so many factors, but I think it comes down to one word: fear

I have come to the decision to finally go for it. I need answers to the questions that have been eating at me for the past year. And if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. 

I think it’s time for me to get my heart broken. Wish me luck. 

gibberishhhhhh
I like people. i like hearing them talk about themselves. I like their stories, the ones about the first birthday they can remember or about the first time they got lost in a shopping mall. I like to keep listening until they get to that point where they disregard social etiquette. When they decide being honest is easier than pretending. When they tell you what they really think of a certain topic or person. Mostly, I like hearing them talk about themselves. Their fears, their insecurities, their greatest love and loss. When people are honest, it’s like a reintroduction. You meet who they really are. The man wearing the business costume is really a dreamer and the kid asking for change on the sidewalk is working on his first EP. My darling, listen to people when they talk and do so intently. When people sense they are being heard, they will give you something worth hearing.
How I get past small talk, breatheasyhoney (via breatheasyhoney)
steadysteeping
as we grow up. we are growing through ourselves. into ourselves. the heartbreak we experience when those we’ve grown up/grown through with can not/will not travel with us, is organic. there is organic heartbreak. there is natural pain. this is a natural pain. having to say goodbye. or leave. because you are a different person to someone who has known you through all of your growing. is a tremendous altering. let it be so. you must be who you are. having someone say goodbye. or leave. because they are a different person than the one you’ve known through all their growing. is a tremendous altering. let it be so. they must be who they are. this is the wise and wide heartbreak of growth.

nayyirah waheed (via nayyirahwaheed)

Keep growing.

(via rajpanda)