At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.
I hold the many connections I’ve made in life very dear and close to my heart. And I will fight to keep the connections that matter to me.
Why? Because you can meet thousands of people in your lifetime, but how many of them actually becomes a connection? And I’m not talking about just any kind of surface level connection. I’m talking about the raw, let’s connect with each other’s souls kind of connection. I’m talking about depth as deep as the ocean.
For some people, they define success by the clothes on their back, the size of the house above their head, the cash in their bank accounts, or the amount of steps they took up their career ladder. Sure, these things do matter, but for me, success means how many lives I can touch and make a difference for. Nothing brings more joy to my heart than to know I’ve added value to someone’s life in a way that helped them become the person they are today.
Despite how strongly I feel about my connections, you should never fight for someone who already has made the decision to walk out of your life. You should never force someone to stay when they don’t want to. I had to learn this the hard way. Despite it all, the optimist in me still believes in the strength of our connection, and I know that this is not the end of the road. I know that our paths will cross again in the future. The corgi in me will always care about and want the best for the bulldog in you, even if it’s from afar.
Connections are a gift. They are the little and big blessings that add meaning and value to my life. And once a connection is made, it’s not going away. But connections that are established in that shared moment do change with time, and not every connection is meant to stay in your life once it’s served its purpose. And sometimes you have to let these go. Just be grateful for the ones who decide to stay.
As you leave Stanford, take your genius and your optimism and your empathy and go change the world in ways that will make millions of others optimistic as well.+
You don’t have to rush. You have careers to launch, debts to pay, spouses to meet and marry. That’s enough for now.+
But in the course of your lives, perhaps without any plan on your part, you’ll come to see suffering that will break your heart.+
When it happens, and it will, don’t turn away from it; turn toward it. That is the moment when change is born.
- Bill & Melinda Gates Stanford Commencement Speech ‘14
Recently, I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, and we spent a good deal of time talking about our 5 year plan and career ambitions. I went through all the options I’m considering, and that’s when she stops me and asks, “Wendy, if there are no factors holding you back, what would you want to be doing now?”
She said there was this force pulling me back, which was something she was surprised she saw in me. That made me really think hard. And you know what, she’s right. There are so many factors, but I think it comes down to one word: fear.
I have come to the decision to finally go for it. I need answers to the questions that have been eating at me for the past year. And if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.
I think it’s time for me to get my heart broken. Wish me luck.
I like people. i like hearing them talk about themselves. I like their stories, the ones about the first birthday they can remember or about the first time they got lost in a shopping mall. I like to keep listening until they get to that point where they disregard social etiquette. When they decide being honest is easier than pretending. When they tell you what they really think of a certain topic or person. Mostly, I like hearing them talk about themselves. Their fears, their insecurities, their greatest love and loss. When people are honest, it’s like a reintroduction. You meet who they really are. The man wearing the business costume is really a dreamer and the kid asking for change on the sidewalk is working on his first EP. My darling, listen to people when they talk and do so intently. When people sense they are being heard, they will give you something worth hearing.
What’s the point of living?
as we grow up. we are growing through ourselves. into ourselves. the heartbreak we experience when those we’ve grown up/grown through with can not/will not travel with us, is organic. there is organic heartbreak. there is natural pain. this is a natural pain. having to say goodbye. or leave. because you are a different person to someone who has known you through all of your growing. is a tremendous altering. let it be so. you must be who you are. having someone say goodbye. or leave. because they are a different person than the one you’ve known through all their growing. is a tremendous altering. let it be so. they must be who they are. this is the wise and wide heartbreak of growth.
When She Asked why the Others left
loving me, I said
is almost like a renovation project
except you’ll have less to show for it in the end
I have paint chipping from my walls
and scuffs on my floor—
if you look closely enough you can see
all the places where people dragged furniture
when they should have lifted
I guess the others got tired of waking to floorboards creaking
on the nights I would try to crawl out of my skin
but before I show you inside
you should know I won’t always need someone
to replace my faulty pipes
and invest in new furniture
even if these days I am constantly tearing at my seams
I tried to explain to the others
that it would be worth the wait
but they grew impatient and
took it upon themselves
to decorate and furnish an unstable frame
and then grew angry
if the roof would leak when it rained